


Him

by PoorQueequeg



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Forcebang, Porn, repost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 08:51:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13050651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoorQueequeg/pseuds/PoorQueequeg
Summary: She isn't a girlShe isn't a woman either.





	Him

**Author's Note:**

> A PQ Forcebang fic, originally Published at: 2016-01-25, so it's almost two years old. There's a hint of Finn/Rey and no Rose and several errors I'm sure.

Poe Dameron is a handsome man.

 

Rey doesn't really know anything about attraction or what it means between people, and what she does know she doesn't really want to. Feelings that are not her own creep into her mind, strange and frightening and addictive all at once. She hates it, she hates him.

 

She doesn't hate Poe. Poe Dameron is a kind man, a handsome man she's come to realize and she's realized too that she's not the only one who thinks so. She starting to note all the things about him that make people like him; his easy manner, the way he seems to focus on only you when he speaks to you, his humble hero persona and not least of all his handsome face.

 

General Organa will smile and shake her head as he walks away

 

“Watch that one,” she had said with the slightest of chuckles. “A real moon jockey.”

 

Rey had smiled back but she wasn't really sure what she was smiling for.

 

She knows a little better now.

 

She'd only met him briefly before she went away, found him hovering beside Finn's bedside and although she as was wary of him as she is with everyone Poe had definitely struck her as the kind of friend she wanted Finn to have while she wasn't there.

 

“He saved my life,” Poe told her, looking her in the eye with a disarming earnestness. “I'll never forget that.”

 

He was the hero of the resistance. And who was she?

 

Nobody.

 

Of course that was then and this is now and Rey isn't the person she was when she'd left to find Luke. She feels stronger, more centred, an energy thrumming through her that makes her feel more alive than she ever knew she could, but she knows too that her gift has left her as lonely as she ever was before.

 

It is a gift

 

It is a curse.

 

Now, here on the rebel base she isn't starved of company, there are always people around. Finn is with her whenever he can be and so by extension she often finds herself with Poe.

 

Besides her, Poe is Finn's best friend and he's...he's kind and funny and sincere. Aside from Finn, he's the most welcoming, the one who makes her feel most comfortable among these strangers for whose cause she's found herself fighting.

 

And Poe is easy to get along with, after all he's a pilot too. There's no shortage of things for them to talk about, loitering in the hangar or sharing rations in the mess hall. Once and only once he mentions what happened to him, the torture, the pain. He looks at her like she might understand and she does but she doesn't because what happened to her is nothing like what happened to him. She stares into her stew and doesn't know what she's feeling.

 

Poe complains about the food and she laughs even though she doesn't think there's anything wrong with it at all. In truth it's just another reminder of who she is, or who she isn't, and it makes her feel inadequate because to her every meal is like a feast. She's become self conscious about her table manners, about her total lack of understanding of social situations and when she sees all the other women that talk to him and fawn over him she feels.....

 

Another feeling she knows but doesn't want to.

 

Some days Luke takes her away from it all to disappear into the hills for meditation and other esoteric jedi practices. Rey sees the way people look at her, sometimes reverent, sometimes wary and Poe looks at her like that too but sometimes, just sometimes he looks at her like he sees something else.

 

She isn't a girl any more.

 

She isn't a woman either.

 

Rey wants to feel like a woman.

 

Instead she feels him. An unwelcome presence in the back of her mind, always lingering even when she blocks him out.

 

His voice is more than a memory in her mind. I'm the only one who understands you. No-one could ever want you like I do.

 

Alone, Rey stares at her skinny frame in the mirror and feels the brush of phantom fingers down her back. Regular meals and training and she thinks she's a little more rounded than she was, she can see the shape of her muscles in the half light. Beautiful, she hears in her mind and screws her face up, alien feelings seeping into her, feelings she's only just beginning to understand. Longing. Desire.

 

There is no place for any of this in her life.

 

Master Luke says nothing but she knows he doesn't approve when she joins Finn and Poe and the other pilots. It's not for a jedi, that life of easy pleasures and easy friendships. They pass around Corellian whiskey and other less refined liquor, brewed in a not-so-secret still on the base. It smells like engine oil and makes people slur and fall over and she's sure she's not missing anything. But they laugh, oh how they laugh and hug and smile and they seem so happy.

 

Finn is grinning at her, he's had a few himself and she can't help but return his adorable smile. When no-one's looking she whispers conspiratorially in his ear.

 

“Let me have some,” she asks and Finn grins back, passing her his cup.

 

It tastes like shit. Worse than shit and Finn looks half amused half concerned as she chokes.

 

“Oh faaa,” she gurns, sticking her tongue out and pulling a funny face at him. “That's disgusting.”

 

“Isn't it?” Finn agrees but he finishes the cup anyway.

 

Rey starts to understand a little more why they drink it when the giggling sets in, when the music stops being a tuneless dirge and when Finn's eyes seem to twinkle a little more brightly. She can't dance and neither can he but they try and she admits to herself she feels safe in his arms, wanted, cherished. She's nothing, no-one and nobody could ever want her but he's a nobody too, he tells her, together they can be somebody.

 

Poe seems to find it all very funny as he swoops in and takes over. Rey tenses instinctively but Poe seems not to notice, smiling that dazzling smile at her and she melts into his arms. When he looks at her she feels a funny tingling feeling between her legs and her skin burns in the places where his hand touches her. She can't dance and staggers in his arms, flushing with shame but he just laughs and dances with her anyway.

 

She doesn't really understand any of these feelings, although she's starting too.

 

When Finn kisses her it's awkward and wet but it's nice, she likes it and lets herself be kissed. When Poe looks at her she feels another feeling altogether.

 

There are fleeting touches, telling glances, sly smiles but still she ends up in alone in her bed with phantom hands running possessively over her skin. You're nothing to him, just another female body. She sobs into her pillow even as she burns with want for the touch of a hand that was never there.

 

Finn is drunk tonight, too drunk and Rey helps Poe carry him back to his bunk. “You're my best friends,” Finn slurs at them, cupping her cheek with a sloppy hand. Rey sways a little under the heavy handedness of his touch. “We're family.”

 

“Alright buddy,” Poe agrees, hauling Finn's crumpled form onto the bed. “You're my best friend too.”

 

He walks her home although they both know there's no need. Poe's like that, she learns, a gentleman they call it although she's still not sure quite what that is. Men are men, aren't they?

 

Rey is only really beginning to learn what men are.

 

BB8 trails along beside them beeping happily and when they get to her door, the little droid barrels on ahead eagerly. Rey shakes her head and Poe shrugs, giving her a soft smile as they watch the droid plug into the console in the corner. BB8 swivels his head and projects a game of dejarik onto a small table. Poe chuckles.

 

“I think he's in love with you,” he tells her and the look in his eyes does funny things to her insides.

 

“BB8 your master wants to go home,” she says, approaching the droid and squatting down in front of him. BB8 gives her a mournful tone and his head tilts forward. Poe laughs again.

 

“Honestly, this guy,” he says stepping into the room. Rey smiles and sits down on the bed.

 

“Alright just one game,” she tells the droid who beeps in delight. Poe sits on the only chair and waits patiently while Rey loses the game as quickly as she can. When BB8 beeps at her accusingly she glances over at Poe to find him watching her with a funny look in his eyes. She flushes hotly and pushes the feeling away.

 

They're fixing the motivator on the Falcon when he almost kisses her.

 

Finn has volunteered them to help and she doesn't mind at all. Chewie is berating him for something but Rey's stopped listening. Poe is standing beside her in the small space, a panel open between them and she's made a joke but she can't remember what it is because his face is so close.

 

“You're funny,” he tells her with that smile and when their eyes meet she freezes. She thinks she knows that look now and when he reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, she shivers. She can feel his breath on her cheek and she gasps, her lips parted and her eyes fall closed. She clutches a spanner in her fist, feeling his nose brush against hers.

 

Loud footsteps on the grating outside, raised voices and Poe pulls away. Rey flushes beet red and turns to fiddle with some tangled wires and BB8's there and Finn and Chewbacca and the moment is gone.

 

Rey projects a serenity she doesn't really feel. She's good at that thanks to Master Luke. She shouldn't have such feelings anyway, she tells herself when she's alone, willing away the disappointment and the shame.

 

The voice in her head agrees. She's not for other men to kiss.

 

She hates him.

 

Poe it seems, isn't so good at pretending not to feel and the next time he sees her, Rey can't deny the butterflies in her stomach. Another briefing with the General and as the gathered bodies shuffle out of the conference room, Poe lingers and reaches forward to flick away some invisible fluff from her sleeve. She swallows and meets his eye with fluttering lashes.

 

“See you in the mess tonight?” he queries, his voice soft and his eyes wistful. Rey blinks and looks away.

 

“Um, maybe,” she says non-committally and Poe seems to deflate just a little. Nobody else would have seen it but she's not just anybody, not a nobody anymore. He sucks his lip into his mouth and gives her a phoney smile and as she walks away she feels ashamed at how good that felt.

 

Alone in her quarters she spends a long time looking at herself in the mirror. She lets her long hair hang down around her shoulders and stares at her breasts, the curve of her waist, the thatch of hair between her legs.

 

She feels it again, a phantom touch so real it makes her heart pound. Her breath is loud in the silence, her chest heaving as hands stroke down her arms to slide across her hips. She feels a pull from her groin, her sex clenching and she gasps at the coiling arousal that spreads upward through her body. In her mind a dark tendril of lust unfurls as she cups one breast and tugs it lightly. His presence is so strong she can almost feel his hot breath in her ear, feel the heat of his body behind her. Down she moves, slowly until she reaches between her legs, cupping herself gently. She squeezes lightly, the soft fuzz of hair beneath her palm and she sighs. His voice in her mind is like a purr, a low vibration that resonates through her body and makes her ache. With cautious touches she lets one finger brush between the soft folds of her sex and like breaking the skin of an overripe fruit, the wetness she finds there makes her gasp with delight.

 

He's aroused, she knows it, feels like it was her own and she bites her lip, circling her clit with lazy strokes. She imagines herself pressed back against the console in the Falcon, hard circuits digging into her back and the smell of engine oil strong in her nostrils. Rey moans as she pushes a finger inside herself and imagines it's Poe, thick, calloused hands roughly pressing into her soft, yielding body.

 

Rage floods her and she can taste his jealousy on her tongue, bitter and like dust. Whore.

 

She shudders, images of Poe flashing in her mind, broken and bloody in an interrogation chair. She staggers and grips the edge of the table, heaving in a sharp ragged breath.

 

She tries not to sob and fails.

 

She avoids Poe's eyes at the dinner table and stares at her soup, spooning it over and over back into the bowl.

 

“Y'okay Rey?” Finn asks, concern furrowing his brow as he chews on a piece of bread. “Not like you to be off your food.” Rey sits up a little straighter and smiles at him.

 

“Fine,” she says projecting cheerfulness and smiling, shovels a spoonful of soup into her mouth. It tastes of nothing and Rey tries not wonder what's happening to her, even if deep down she already knows.

 

Later when Poe sits next to her on the couch she gives him a smile but doesn't really talk much, distracted by the rough seam of his pants where it rubs against her thigh. His bicep presses against hers and no-one pays any mind when he stretches his arms across the back of the sofa. Finn is on the other side of him, talking animatedly with some of the techs and pilots who make up their motley assembly and it seems like the most natural thing in the world, just good old Poe and his buddies.

 

The brush of his thumb through her hair makes her heart pound in her chest, her whole body thrumming with excitement and when she's offered a drink of moonshine she takes it to block out the simmering anger that lingers in the back of her mind. When Poe makes a quip she turns towards him, his face oh so close and she holds his gaze.

 

She can't help herself. She's know she shouldn't do it but he's just so open to her, his mind so pliable. In the blink of an eye she slips inside his head, furtive, unknown like a thief in the night. She knows what he's thinking, can hear exactly he wants to do to her and the very thought of it makes her throb with desire for him.

 

His thoughts are clear as glass to her as he walks her home and she pretends she doesn't feel anything at all even if she's burning with want. When they get to her door he puts his hands flat on the wall on either side of her head and looks her up and down.

 

“There's something about you, Rey,” he murmurs, staring at her mouth and she lets her tongue dart out to swipe across her lips. He exhales slowly, looking her right in the eye and when she reaches out to stroke her hand across his chest he's lost.

 

His kiss is hungry, his mouth is warm and he tastes like the badly made booze they've been drinking all night. Poe presses against her and she moans when she feels his hardness nudging against her. She wraps hers legs around him and he grinds furiously between her legs and she's gasping, palming blindly at the access panel on the door.

 

It's not exactly hearts and flowers, fumbling hands and staggering steps. Poe tugs off his jacket and she fumbles with his belt. His hands rove her body, squeezing her breast a little too hard and she gasps. He takes that as a good sign and hustles her back towards the narrow bed. She flops down and he follows, his hips cradled between her legs. She moans, her fingers tangling in his hair as he laves at her neck and his hands fumbling with her tunic until they slide into her underwear.

 

Two rough fingers press into her and she gasps, her body tensing at the intrusion. It's nothing like she imagined, it's raw and real and it burns.

 

“Fuck,” he groans, his voice laden with booze and lust. He twists his wrist to plunge his fingers in and out and she whimpers, any desire she felt fleeing with every thrust of his hand. Rey turns her head away and he runs his tongue across her ear, her face screwing up with the pain of it. Her fingers dig hard into his arm as he drives his hand into her again but when her whimper becomes a sob Poe goes still.

 

Rey is gasping as he pulls his fingers out of her, stroking gently across her slit and his breathing ragged in her ear. “Shit,” he mutters, slouching onto his side. Her chest is heaving as she lies trembling beside him, staring up at the ceiling so she doesn't have to look at his face. “You've never done this before,” he says. It's not a question and Rey bites her lip against the shame that wells up inside her. They lie there in silence for a few minutes before Poe pushes himself to a sitting position and rubs the heel of his palms against his eyes. “Fuck, I'm sorry,” he says shaking his head. His tone is so contrite that Rey feels emboldened by it and sits up, reaching for him.

 

“It's okay,” she says, her voice barely a whisper as she strokes her finger through a curl behind his ear. He turns to her with a harried expression but when he meets her eye, he melts a little.

 

“I'm sorry,” he says, cupping her head and pressing a kiss to her forehead. Rey closes her eyes and lets her head fall forward onto his shoulder as her breath returns to normal. “Rey,” he says eventually and she opens her eyes to stare at the tangled bedsheet beneath them. “I can't I.....I should go.”

 

She doesn't look at him as he stands and buckles his belt. Poe shrugs on his jacket and when she still won't meet his eyes he reaches down to brush a finger across her cheek. Gentle fingers raise her chin and when she looks at him, his pitying expression is more than she can bear.

 

She flushes hotly with the sting of rejection, collapsing back onto her bed and stuffing her fist into her mouth, choking back a sob as the door clicks shut behind him.

 

She lets the tears fall but doesn't let herself make a sound. Silent anguish wracks her body in the dim light until she hears that familiar baritone in her mind. He doesn't want you. You're nobody to him.

 

Rey cries out, clutching the bedsheet in her fists and groaning as the tears flow hot across her cheeks until there's nothing left in her. It's only then that she feels it, a presence pressing down her like a warm body. She can't see him with her eyes but she knows that he's there, feels the gentle brush of his lips on her eyelids, strangely tender, comforting. I still want you.

 

She lets out a slow breath and lets go, opening the fortress she's built up to keep him out. Come to me.

 

As he melts away, Rey lets him pull her with him.

 

She's in the darkness, a warm light visible in the trees ahead of her and the soil soft and yielding beneath her bare feet. She's wearing only the ragged white slip that she sleeps in, leaves brushing her bare arms as she walks through the forest. She can feel him ahead of her, waiting, wanting and when she reaches the clearing she sees him, dark and brooding and devastatingly beautiful. The crackle of logs burning fills her ears and beyond the fire he sits, leaning bank against the trunk of a fallen tree. One knee bent, he leans his arm on his leg, twiddling a thin piece of black wood in his fingers.

 

Rey takes a moment to take him him, the vivid scar she gave him visible as the light of the fire dances across his face. His chest is bare and Rey hadn't counted on the broad muscles she sees, the sculpted shape of his stomach and the long tapering V that disappears beneath the black fabric of the pants he wears.

 

He meets her gaze, the firelight twinkling in his black eyes and the hunger she sees there washes her through her like waves across molten lava. She takes a stuttering breath and slowly, cautiously moves around the fire until she's standing before him. He looks up at her, flicking the hair out of his eyes and slowly, agonizingly, brushes the back of his hand against her calf.

 

“I've waited for you,” he tells her, his eyes trailing the path of his fingers across her skin and Rey swallows hard, rubbing her thumbs nervously against the palms of her hands. “Waited for you to let me in.” She watches him as he shifts, slowly, with unhurried movements until he's kneeling before her. His hands slide up her legs, a touch so gentle and totally at odds with everything he is. “No-one can give you what I can,” he tells her, pressing his face between her legs as his hands cup the round swell of her behind. She bites her lip and lets her fingers tangle in his hair as he kneads the soft cheeks of her ass. His breath hot as he presses an open mouth kiss against her sex through the fabric of her nightdress. “No-one wants you like I do.”

 

Rey gasps and peers down at him, the feral look in his eyes sending hot sparks like electricity straight to her clit. He smiles wickedly and his tongue slips out to lick across the rough fabric that covers her, a tease, a promise. His fingers move up to circle her wrists, tugging her down onto his lap. Cautiously, Rey strokes her hands across his face and cups his jaw in her palms as their lips meet.

 

His kiss is nothing like Finn, nothing like Poe. While their kisses are like water from a Jakku well, his is cool and clear like a mountain stream. She closes her eyes and moans into his mouth, his arms going around her as she nestles neatly into his lap. Rey buries her fingers in his hair, his hands stroking up her back beneath the fabric of her slip. His tongue is hot and insistent and she welcomes it, sucking it into her mouth and grinding her hips against the unmistakeable lump in his pants.

 

Her hands roam across the muscles in his back, up across his shoulders to trace across his throat with her fingertips. She pulls back to stroke her hands down his chest, feeling the hard muscles there and inhaling at the feel of his nipples under her palms. She bites her lip at the raw power of him and the utter masculinity of his body terrifies her but she just can't stop herself from touching him. He groans, pressing the flat of his tongue across her cheek and rocking his hips beneath her. Rey gasps and looks him right in the eye as she moves against him, the stiff starch of his pants brushing infuriatingly against her clit. Her lashes flutter and she pouts, her whimper making him grin at her wickedly.

 

She raises her arms up and wiggles in his lap as he strips her slip from her, pulling it up over her head and casting it aside. His lips are on her again, demanding another kiss as he strokes his fingers through her hair. Rey curls her fingers around his neck and rises up, devouring his mouth as thick fingers stroke down her spine, massaging as they move lower. He squeezes her ass with firm strokes, her hand coming to rest on his shoulder as his mouth moves to her breast. She's still moving, cupping the back of his head and watching with hooded eyes as his mouth closes around one nipple.

 

Rey can't contain the breathy moan that escapes her as he presses the flat of his tongue on her skin. His fingers aren't idle, one hand splayed across her lower back while the other slides between her legs. Rey clings to him as he traces every inch of her, his finger slicking around and around her pussy but never penetrating. Her head falls back and through her lashes she can make out the stars above the canopy of the trees. She can feel his eyes on her, can feel every nerve ending sing with his presence in her mind and it feels....good. He circles her clit with maddening movements, never touching but shifting the sensitive skin so that it brushes against the throbbing nub over and over. Arousal pulses through her, her thighs tingling with a heaviness that makes her shudder. Her pussy clenches hotly and she screws her face up, letting out a stuttering sob of breath that becomes a moan as he slips one finger inside of her.

 

This time it doesn't hurt but it aches in a different way. Gently, he traces the shape of her, his finger moving with gentle circular motions until she's grinding into his hand. His eyes never leave her face, his lips parted and his gaze one of curious awe as he watches her reaction. He pulls on her hair and kisses her, his tongue slipping into her mouth as another finger joins the first. Rey wraps her arm tight around his neck, digs her nails into his shoulder and cries into his mouth. The obscene smack of his fingers inside her makes her flush hot and he growls with delight before flicking the pad of his thumb across her clit. Something inside her spasms and she gasps, and again, his touch relentless as the pleasure grows. Rey tenses in his arms, the muscles of her pussy clenching hard around his fingers and she sobs into his mouth as she comes, twitching uncontrollably as he gently strokes across the buzzing nub of nerves between her legs.

 

She goes limp in his arms, eyes closed as he pulls her hair back to expose her neck to him. He presses the flat of his tongue upward from her collarbone to her jaw in one hot, wet lick and wraps his hands around her throat. She whimpers as he squeezes gently, the air falling out of her lungs in little stuttering breaths. His fingers are wet against her cheek and when she opens her eyes he brushes them under his nose, sucks the tips between his lips.

 

Rey grits her teeth and grabs at him, pulling his head towards her and pushing her tongue into his mouth, hungry, feral. His hands move to the buckle of his belt and she moves to help him, their fingers fumbling together as they work to open the buttons on his pants. The soil is soft and loose beneath her skin as she moves off his lap, their lips parting only for the briefest of moments as he wriggles out of his pants. Rey leans back to strip them off his legs, his hand idling across her breasts as she tugs them over his feet.

 

His fingers move between her legs again, stroking gently through the wetness across the tops of her thighs. He watches her face closely, her eyes fixed to the straining length of his erection where it rises up between them. Rey looks at it, her lips parted and her breath coming in little puffs. Curious and wanting all at once, she reaches for him, stroking the back of her knuckles up the length of it to let her fingertips brush across the broad purple head. He grunts, hissing at through his teeth as she strokes the leaking tip. His fingers in her hair he pulls her close for another kiss, catching her lower lip in his teeth and looking her right in the eye. Rey strains after him as he pulls away, her head in his hands as he leans back and effortlessly down she goes.

 

She presses a kiss at the base of his shaft, gratified by his loud groan as she drags her tongue upwards. She closes her eyes as she presses her tongue against the head, the taste of him causing a strange heady feeling of power coursing through her. He's flat on his back now, fingers digging into her thigh and his eyes closed as his hips jerk up off the ground towards her.

 

Her hair falls across her face and he brushes it out of the way, dark eyes watching her as she slowly drags her lips up his pulsing heat. He curls his lip and growls as she brushes her tongue over the tip, flicking at the sensitive ridge for just a moment before she sinks back down. He hums with pleasure, stroking his palm up her thigh, squeezing the soft skin before he strokes between her legs once more.

 

She gasps as he tugs her towards him, the wet head of his cock brushing against her cheek even as her hands scrabble for purchase. Her hair brushes across the sensitive part where his hip meets his thigh and his body twitches in a way that does funny things to her insides. Rey moans, his hands stroking up and down her back while his mouth moves over her sex. When his tongue flicks wetly over her clit she whines, screwing her face up and biting her lip for a second before she dips her head once more.

 

The fire crackles beside her, shadows dancing across the sculpted planes of his thighs as she cranes her neck to run her tongue across the soft skin of his balls. His tongue is still stroking across her aching pussy, pressing inside and making her moan around the hard length of him in her mouth. She takes him in as deep as she can and he lets out a sob that cuts right to the heart of her.

 

Rey isn't sure where she is at that moment, existing in a place between fantasy and reality where coherent thought doesn't exist but where sensation, emotion is all there is. Her whole body is flushed with heat, every nerve ending singing, like every particle of her being vibrating on a frequency only they can perceive. She feels pleasure, wanted and wanting all at once, like her body is not her own.

 

It doesn't hurt when his fingers tangle in her hair, one hand holding her hip in a firm grip that should bruise and her back arching sharply as he pulls her back against his chest in one fluid motion. His hand at her throat as he twists her head towards his for a kiss and Rey can only stroke her hand across his face as their lips collide. Her hand pressing his erection to the wetness between her legs, she rocks her hips over and over as he wraps his arms around her. She reaches behind her, draping her arms around his neck and shoulders and stroking his hair as he fastens his lips on the skin on her neck, hands closing around her breasts. He finds a pulse point and her whole body to twitches violently as he sucks hard, marking her.

 

She is languid, fluid in his arms when he pushes her face first into the dirt. The soil crumbles between her fingers as he pulls her back, her ass flush against his hips and the silky smooth skin of his cock sliding across her sex. The head of it bumps her clit and she cries out, writhing beneath his touch as he rocks his hips back and forth, teasing. He's moaning, hunched over her to press a kiss between her shoulder blades and she can't recall ever feeling so wanted.

 

He twists her hair around his fingers and she sobs when he enters he in one long, smooth stroke. Her back arches like a cat, her hips bearing down on him and making him holler. He adjusts his grip on her shoulders and thrusts into her again and the sound she makes is primal, keening like an animal baying at the moon.

 

Rey has not experienced anything quite like this before, the sensation of being filled, opened in a way she's never known, raw and real. It's so much she doesn't know if she can bear it, pleasure and pain mingling until she can't tell one from the other. Behind her eyes she sees it, a crackling pulse of energy, dark and light swirling together in a collision so bright it's blinding.

 

He pushes her down onto the ground, the earth loose and powdery against the hard nubs of her breasts. His hands grip her wrists, holding her in place beneath him as he starts to move into her with faster, harder strokes. She gasps, moaning uncontrollably, his breath hot in her ear even as her face presses into the soil. His teeth close around the soft flesh of her earlobe and he sucks, a needy sobbing sound falling from his throat.

 

She feels like an animal, she supposes that's all she is as they writhe and rut in the dirt. She doesn't want it to end, the feel of him behind her, above her, below her. That, she thinks, she likes best of all.

 

She pushes him down onto his back, straining for her and the look of utter desperation on his face makes her lip curl wickedly. She scratches her nails hard down his chest as she rides him and he hisses, his hips jerking up hard into her. Strong fingers wrap around her neck, pulling her close for a kiss She sneers, digging her nails into his shoulder and licking up the length of the jagged scar across his face instead. His fingers in her hair he holds her head in his hands, snorting a loud grunting breath, the exertion apparent in the beading sweat on his brow. Their lips collide in a furious kiss that steals the air from her lungs as she comes, pleasure surging through her. Every muscle in her body tenses and she clings to him through it, aching, burning, glowing until she dissolves into a boneless heap, limp in his arms.

 

The flames of the fire flicker low on the ground beside her, the gentle snap of wood and the hush of embers soothing. Rey stares up through the trees at the stars as he kisses every part of her, a strange kind of hum buzzing through her whole body. She lets her fingers idle in his hair as slowly he crawls towards her, dragging his lips over her skin.

 

“Do you believe me now?” he asks, his voice a breathless rasp against her stomach. Rey doesn't move, just stares through slitted eyes at the glittering sky above until his face comes to rest above hers. She blinks slowly and reaches up to give him a languid kiss, fingers trailing through the hair above his ears.

 

“Yes,” she murmurs as her head lolls back against the earth and her eyes fall closed. She feels his hum reverberate in her very being, soothing, lulling her into a dreamless sleep.

 

In the cold light of day, Rey looks at herself in the mirror. She leans forward on her arms and wiggles her ass, tilting her head as she admires the curve where her waist meets her hip. She doesn't look any different but she feels different, she feels beautiful, powerful and spiteful.

 

Her hair falls across her eye and she shakes her head to clear her vision, tracing every mark across her skin. She touches the faint bruises at her hip, presses her fingers to the angry red welt on her neck and flushes with pleasure at the memory.

 

When she walks, she feels an ache between her legs that wasn't there before, moves with a laziness, the vaguest air of arrogance maybe perceptible to those that care to look. It's not that she doesn't notice when Poe looks her way, it's just that somehow she doesn't really care.

 

Later he tries to apologize and she gives him the vaguest of smiles, holding his gaze with an odd look in her eyes. He's frozen by it and she suppresses a chuckle at how easy it all is. She presses into his mind, stealing his memories but leaving his desire. She feels a twinge of malicious amusement emanate from somewhere deep within her. Him. Her smile grows and she brushrs her finger down Poe's nose before she turns and walks away. He shakes his head and blinks in confusion, turning to watch her go with longing in his eyes.

 

She saunters along the crowded passages of the base and sees the faces of the people around her. Hers is a passive mask that disguises a newfound feeling of distaste at their ordinariness, their weakness. It doesn't matter now, she think as she walks out into the sun.

 

I'm coming for you, she hears in her mind and she smiles, glancing up at the day moon that hangs in the sky.

 

I'm waiting, she replies.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't seen TLJ because it's not out where I live, so I'm holding off writing anything even though I have the urge because of THE BARE CHEST AND THE THIRST, among other things. I'm pretty busy but I'm sure even I won't be able to refrain from knocking one out, ahem, soon enough.


End file.
